Rising, Regardless ⛅️

Its 7:00 am in the morning. I was trying to sleep but couldn’t, so I came here to write instead. It’s been a while since anything significant has happened. Sometimes I catch myself wondering — what’s going to become of me? Honestly, I don’t know. But here’s what I do know: I cleared an exam in December… one I truly didn’t think I’d pass. When the result came out in March, something changed — not just in me, but in the way my family saw me. A kind of quiet belief crept into their eyes. And I’m not just talking about my parents — they’ve always had an unshakeable faith in me. They’re the kind of people who believe that anything I attempt, I’ll eventually succeed in. Their belief has been my lifeline on the days I wanted to give up. But this story is also about the others — the ones who once didn’t think I was capable of much. Even their perspective started shifting. It’s because of this hope that I’ve kept going, even when I had every reason to stop. I don’t want to let anyone down — not them, and especially not myself. Ever since that small exam result came out, the weight of expectations has grown. And sometimes… I quietly wonder if I even deserve all this love and trust. 

 I haven’t written my blog in a while. Why? Because honestly, what do I even write when I can’t see any real growth in myself? The things I want to do — they feel just out of reach. My sleep is messed up. My routine is broken. I still carry regrets — mostly the guilt of not having given my absolute best when I could’ve. Mentally, I haven’t been okay for over a month now. I’m constantly overthinking. Back in March, I was so busy I didn’t have time to spiral. But now, with life showing no “major” change, I find myself panicking in the stillness. Very few people know this part of me — because on the outside, I seem happy. But despite everything… I still get up every morning. And let me tell you — that’s the biggest battle I fight right now. And every night, I try to sleep — and lose that fight too. But I still try. Because deep down, I believe — something good is coming. I’ve always felt like I’m meant for something special. Not because I have superpowers. Not because I’m perfect. But because, despite all the setbacks, despite how slow and stagnant everything feels, the people who matter still tell me: “Tum kar logi,Tumse ho jayega.”

 And that one line? It’s enough. It gets me through another day of feeling like I’m failing — because I know one day, I’ll look back and see that these weren’t failures at all. 

They were just the tiny steps on my way to something extraordinary.👣 

 S.S.