कल या काल? 🪞

 12:30 am

I have this strange tension, this strange stress. Yesterday was a bit different... quite tiring, quite exhausting... but everything was fine. I don't know, a monotonous life feels problematic. And even when something different happens, it still feels strange. But I'm trying to get used to these changes. I know that maybe this will make me better, but right now I feel quite sad. I don't know... I'm really scared of tomorrow. Especially when something happens that I'm afraid of. Anyway, keeping all these thoughts inside doesn't help. Some things are meant for our betterment. I'm trying to lighten my mind by writing all this, but I don't know, I still don't understand much. I'm just gathering courage. I'll try to take the experiences from yesterday as lessons and face tomorrow with happiness and new energy. I'm also feeling like crying a lot. Tonight is going to be the longest night of the year. I just want to cry. I feel like texting everyone and telling them that I won't be able to talk to anyone anymore. Suddenly, I feel like I'm a very bad person. I'm not close to anyone. I'm very selfish. I deceive everyone, even myself. But how will I survive alone? I wish this stress were temporary because I'm really panicking. This stress is only increasing now. I'm feeling anxious. I haven't felt like this for many months. Everything was fine until the evening, and now suddenly I don't know why this is happening. Look at the irony... after so many months, when I'm feeling anxious, it's going to be the longest night. But I just hope I stay strong. I can't let my anxiety win. I have the support of my people. I can't give up like this. Today, that's all for now. I'll tell you tomorrow whether my stress was justified or not. Whether this stress was my gut feeling or just overthinking. Until then, keep me in your prayers.🕉️

S.S.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rising, Regardless ⛅️

Image
Its 7:00 am in the morning. I was trying to sleep but couldn’t, so I came here to write instead. It’s been a while since anything significant has happened. Sometimes I catch myself wondering — what’s going to become of me? Honestly, I don’t know. But here’s what I do know: I cleared an exam in December… one I truly didn’t think I’d pass. When the result came out in March, something changed — not just in me, but in the way my family saw me. A kind of quiet belief crept into their eyes. And I’m not just talking about my parents — they’ve always had an unshakeable faith in me. They’re the kind of people who believe that anything I attempt, I’ll eventually succeed in. Their belief has been my lifeline on the days I wanted to give up. But this story is also about the others — the ones who once didn’t think I was capable of much. Even their perspective started shifting. It’s because of this hope that I’ve kept going, even when I had every reason to stop. I don’t want to let anyone do...
Read more

New-born 🐤

Image
11:00 pm  I am writing this blog after quite a few days. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I wasn’t able to write. You could say it was laziness... but as I said before, I would stay consistent. However, since I took a break, I didn’t write for several more days due to guilt. But from nothing, something is definitely better. That’s why I’m back with my stories, thoughts, and experiences. Now the new year has arrived, and I'm thinking about what changes have come with it. I entered the new year being completely sick. My voice was even gone. Now I'm slowly getting better, but if you look at it, the calendar has changed, but I'm still the same.  But I don’t know why this time everything feels so new and nice, as if it’s my first time on this earth,lol My week has been great... less screen time. Awesome company... so many reasons to be grateful... I'm learning something new every day... I'm realizing that when you do things with love, everything becomes easier... ...
Read more

पैसे से peace है? 💰

2:45 am So today we were talking about the future... my friend asked me how I imagine myself in the future. I had to think a lot about what I want. Earlier, I used to answer that I would either be a big scholar or a great artist. But today, the only thing that came to my mind is that I just want stability in life and that my mind should never be filled with dirt or negativity. My friend said that this is only possible when I do something good career-wise and have money in my pocket; only then will there be some normalcy in life, and my faith will not waver. I found her point quite valid, and the question arises whether I should maintain the stability I have in my life or run like others to earn money so that my future is secure. But in this race for money, will I lose sight of my ultimate goal of normalcy and stability? Or should I do something that brings me happiness, like staying at home? But will this make me look small or a failure in the eyes of society? फ़िलहाल तो मैं इस उलझन पर...
Read more