तपस्या 🧘‍♀️

 05:20 am

In my childhood, I had a fixed routine, and it used to bother me a lot when I would grow up and be able to do everything I wanted. Earlier, if I stayed awake after 10 PM, my mom would scold me, and I used to think, why can't it be that I can also stay awake after 10 PM, watch TV comfortably, sit and talk... use my phone too. But now, it's completely the opposite; now I feel like I wish it could go back to the way it was when my mom would scold me. I want to have a routine. I don't want to have to make any extra efforts. I don't want to set an alarm clock and hit the snooze option. I want to have a purpose when I wake up so that I can wake up happily. I don't want it to be hard to get out of bed. And now, for the past few years, there really is no routine at all. I don't know when it's morning, when it's evening, or when it's night. There is no fixed time for eating, no time for bathing, nothing at all. Many times I thought about fixing my sleep schedule. It seemed easy, but it is not easy at all. I guess it's very tough. Now I understand everything. Being in a routine was a privilege. Someone would stop you, someone would hold you back, and that was for your own good. It's not that no one can stop you now, but now you have grown up so much that people think, this person have enough sense to know what is right and what is wrong? I feel It's as difficult as trying to please God through penance... maybe getting a routine back on track is like doing penance.

 My story will continue like this. To find out whether there will be a change or not, stay tuned.✨

S.S.

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