Mirage 🏜️

03:25 am

 Today, I still feel so drained and exhausted. I don't know why this is happening, but in the morning, I was in a pretty good mood. I thought today wouldn't be gloomy... Everything was fine until the evening, but as night approached, I started feeling restless... Seeing everyone's story statuses made me feel like, wow, their lives are great, even though I know that the grass is greener on the other side. I know everything, yet I end up saying such illogical things. I know what my problem is and what the solution is, but why can't I do anything right? “किसे चाहिए मन का सोना, आँख की मोती? किसे पड़ी है, अंदर क्या है? होती रेत है, लगता पानी।” Everyone I talk to suggests that I should work on what’s bothering me, but I enjoy just sitting under a blanket in my room and being restless. Only five people read my blogs, including myself. And the other four know my life quite well. If my sad stories don't end, they might stop reading my blogs too. Because if everyone knows that I’ve made being restless my favorite activity, then why would they waste their time on me later? 

Btw I relate a lot to the male character from the movie "Tamasha." Every single monologue of his feels like someone has written down the words of my heart. But I want to convince myself that this is neither a movie, nor am I Ved, and there won't be anyone like Tara in my life who will take care of me. This is my story, and I can't let it become a "Tamasha."

S.S.