Rehja ya Behja. 🚦

Chai par chaand? 🌕

 

I haven't written anything for a few days... and by a few days, I mean a lot of days... Why haven't I written? What reason should I give? Because there’s nothing. Just excuses. It's carelessness, you could say. Since I'm away from home, every day is different; something or the other keeps coming up. I’m happy that I’m not thinking about unnecessary things while being more free, and my life isn’t monotonous at the same time. But I’m also sad because I have to deal with different things every day, and I don’t understand how to handle them.

It's 4 in the morning. It's raining heavily... I don't know why, but when it rains, the desire to drink tea increases. But it's too late to have tea now... I don't like the rain; whenever it rains, I get worried that everything will get washed away. I feel like the rain will come and take everything away with it. More than the storm that comes with the rain, I'm afraid of the silence and emptiness that follows the rain. In my eagerness to protect myself, I manage to keep myself safe, but I fear that I might get left behind while everyone else moves on without me. Even the thought of such silence scares me. They say when the mind is at peace, it can withstand even the biggest external storms.

If I look at it this way, I'm not even getting up for tea because of the fear of rain... So, I wonder what it means to protect myself in a way that I have to suppress my own desires? The photo I posted in this blog makes it seem like I've captured the moon in my tea cup. But it's an illusion. The reflection of the moon can appear, but the moon can never be captured. The moon's beauty lies in its openness in the sky. Even if dark clouds cover it, its beauty can never be erased. So, is this peace of mine truly right for me, or is it just an illusion or a reflection? Should I take care of myself, or should I let myself get carried away?

S.S.